"So, how was ur endposting today?", they asked... "It sucked..", was my answer...as usual... *sighs* Sometimes i wonder, when will it be possible for me to say confidently: "I thnk I did well!"... Hmmmmm.....
Sad as it is, i do sometimes wonder, why it doesnt bother me much beyond a week... I mean, lately i can only work hard for as long as a week after feeling bad about not knowing sum thgs during ept, and then sumhw i'll revert bck to my lazy, procrastinating self... I wonder wht has happened to my fiery curiosity and fighting spirits tht i used to hv in my schooling days, when the moment i got 'pushed down', i will pick myself up real fast and push harder so tht i'll be able to reach further up front and not get left behind...
"I thnk she's burned out" u say? I say: "I dont thnk so"... Why? Believe me when i say tht i've had my share of tht, and i knw hw it feels, and this juz isnt it... U knw, sometimes, i'm scared of myself.. I'm scared of wht i might not be, instead of wht i can be... Haishhhh... This is wht happens when i self-analyze way too deep in to sumthg... Huhu...
Anyhow, i guess i'll hv to buck up in order to be a competent and safe doctor within 9mths time.... I knw i can... And i knw i will... It's juz whether the lecturers / specialists will agree with me on tht or not.. And so, i guess, the only way to do tht is to prove my worthiness... And since this feeling might last only for about a week, like i had mentioned earlier, i shall try to make full use of it while i'm still feeling it... hihi ^^
Jya minna... Lets all HWAITINGG!!!!
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