*self-relevations*

haha... juz when i thought im lazy,here i go typing another useless entry... it may be a form of ranting... or it can also be a form of reminder to myself... so here goes nothing...

*warning: the following r ONLY my self expressions... if anyone, in anyway feel tht they'll get hurt reading it, then juz stop right here k!*

1) i realized tht i can be really irritating (if i choose to), even to myself.. haha...

2) i realized tht i shud not consider sum1 my bestfren or close fren until n unless she says so, or i'll only get hurt in the end when she never thought of me in tht manner in the 1st place..

3) i realized tht i depend too much on ppl tht i tend to get myself hurt when i'm left out

4) i realized tht i'm a total lazy bum who if actually works a bit more harder than usual may easily succeed in wutever i do

5) i realize tht hoping for others help is not a good idea, eventhough it only seems natural at times for help to be on its way

6) i realized tht the only real ppl i can depend on r my family, no matter wut, no matter where

7) i realized tht those close to me may not know me as well as i hoped they would be, compared to those who r not as close to me.. and tht is juz plain sad

8) i realized i can manage to put on a sweet face when i'm faced with a person tht i dislike or a situation tht i despise

9) i realized tht i'm not capable of letting go of old hurts coz they r the ones which made me who i am today

10) i realized tht not all tht u want, u will get

11) i realized tht its wrong to hope the same tht u've given to others coz the world doesnt work tht way... wut goes around, comes around only in certain cases

12) i realized i can be every bit evil when i get hurt or when i'm irritated

13) i realized its impossible for ppl to understand me coz they aint no magician, and yet i still hurts when i cant get thru to others

14) i realized tht i get pissy when its tht time of the month rather easily

15) i realized tht my love hate relationship with sum ppl r really unhealthy but i still cant find a way to get it out of my system

16) i realized tht i am vry much a follower rather than a leader and this, only i will understand

17) i realized how forgettable as a person i am , if i dont make my presence known

18) i realized tht asking for help frm sum1 close to me is worse than asking for help frm those not so close to me in the sense tht i feel less hurt if i'm rejected by sum1 not so close to me

19) i realized tht my self-esteem worsens at times due to certain ppl's action

20) i realized tht i'm easily influenced by others

21) i realized tht i can sit for hours altogether doing thgs tht i love without even getting bored or tired of it

22) i realized tht i am self-centered which always gets me into trouble

23) i realized tht i get tired of ppl's expectations of me... on the other hand, it feels awkward to not have any expectations of myself at all... haha...

24) and the most important thg is ---> i juz realized tht i am a truly weird and complicated person who i myself cant understand at times... XD